Where the Coronavirus Germs Are
Many of you are probably aware of the book “Where the Wild Things Are” by Maurice Sendak. Here is my satirical look at “Where the Coronavirus Germs Are.”
Restaurant
My wife and I went to dinner. But, we weren’t wearing our masks when we entered the restaurant. So, the hostess asked us to put on our masks, which we did. She then showed us to our seats ten feet away. Of course, when we sat down, we could remove our masks. But, those bugger coronavirus germs were everywhere in that ten foot span. I could see them on the floor and in the air. I could tell they were aggressively trying to get inside our masks. Thank goodness for that hostess.
And, thank goodness that we have intelligent doctors and scientists running our restaurants and protecting us.
Wrestling
I read an interesting article about high school wrestling. The wrestlers don’t wear masks during the match. But, they are prohibited from shaking hands at the end of the match.
So, they can touch each other, sweat on each other and spit on each other during the match without risk. But, those bugger coronavirus germs settle in on their hands just before the end of the match, ready to take their next victim.
I’m glad the high school athletic associations have access to solid medical data, so our high school wrestlers remain protected. Or, is this just another example of an organization making up rules that they know absolutely nothing about?
House of Representatives
Thank goodness for Doctor Nancy Pelosi. Although many members of the House of Representatives are vaccinated, she had the foresight to keep the mask mandate intact, saving hundreds of lives. She even went so far as to fine members when they didn’t wear a mask.
Those bugger coronavirus germs found their way into the House to wreak havoc on our representatives. And, these were the super spreader germs that can overtake a vaccinated person.
Even after the unreliable CDC issued guidance that fully vaccinated people don’t need to wear masks, Nancy put her medical degree to work to undermine their guidance. She is a true American hero.
Hair Salon
When I go to get my haircut, those bugger coronavirus germs are everywhere. But, when I sit down in the chair, I can pull my mask down.
Maybe the germs are afraid of the hair dresser. Or, maybe they don’t like the sound of the trimmer. Maybe they get scared when she sprays water on my hair. Nevertheless, they stay away from me while I’m getting my hair cut.
If King Fauci could figure out what the germs are scared of in a hair salon, maybe he can use that knowledge to end mask mandates. Maybe, people can carry a hair trimmer with them instead of wearing a mask. And, Nancy Pelosi can issue hair trimmers to the members of the House of Representatives.
Anyway, the doctors who run the hair salons might be on to something.
Church
Churches are absolutely infested with the bugger coronavirus germs. You have to wear a mask everywhere in church to keep them at bay.
But, when you receive communion, they get scared and run away. You can partially remove your mask when you receive communion. But, you must put it back on before walking through the jungle of germs to get back to your seat.
Doctor (Pope) Francis and his contingent of Bishops, M.D., know how to manage the coronavirus. They can say they’re following the science, but they are the science.
Conclusion
It would be nice if our scientific community actually knew what is best. Or, if they could settle on consistent rules. But, they don’t really know what to do, so they make it up as they go. Worse, businesses are making up their own rules too. And, none of them are consistent.
In the end, I think we should have masked and quarantined the sick rather than the well. That’s what we did in the past, and it worked. I’m not sure how it got so messed up with the coronavirus.
But, I’m pretty sure it had to do with getting Trump out of the White House.
