Washington D.C. Is An Ugly Swamp
I don’t care if you call yourself a Republican or a Democrat. Washington D.C. is an ugly swamp. There is nothing good happening in our capital. There is a stench coming from Washington D.C. Here are some of the creatures we need to drain.
Freshwater Turtle
The freshwater turtle is ectothermic, or “cold-blooded”, meaning that their internal temperature matches that of their surroundings. That’s a pretty good description of Mitch McConnell. He’s cold-blooded when it comes to representing the American people and helping new Republicans get into office.
Water Skink
A water skink is a lizard. It has a forked tongue that is very long. Speaking with a forked tongue means intending to mislead or deceive. This could apply to pretty much every representative and senator in the swamp. But, if I have to pick just one, I pick Nancy Pelosi. She has misled and deceived everyone about January 6th. It was the biggest setup in the history of America.
Cottonmouth
There is only one cottonmouth in the government, and he sits at it’s top. Joe Biden is a total cottonmouth. In fact, there is so much cotton in his mouth that he can’t even speak. He’s also a snake who slithers around the swamp on his belly. A snake is symbolic of the devil. Get me?
Crocodile
Maxine Waters is a total crocodile. She is just as ugly. And, she attacks everything in her path. But, Maxine is a toothless crocodile. Remember when Hermie removed all of teeth from the abominable snowman in “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” Same thing.
Large Mouth Bass
Well, we finally get to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. A sure shot for the large mouth bass. First, she has a big mouth both literally and figuratively. Second, remove the “B” from bass and that describes her in much greater detail. Can someone please hook her and throw her in a lake of piranhas?
Shoebill
A shoebill is a long-legged wading bird with an enormous shoe-shaped bill. That is definitely Mitt Romney. He has waded through congress, and his foot is always in his mouth. Thank goodness he is leaving the swamp. Fly away traitor!
Swamp Rat
Hello Lindsey Graham. You are the biggest swamp rat of them all. And there are many other swamp rats in the swamp. You try to be so tough. Then, you kiss Biden’s lower back extremity. Then you flip flop. I hope someone traps you with some cheese and puts you in a labyrinth so you can spend the remainder of your days trying to find your way out. I say this because you are not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Swamp Monkey
This was the hardest one to think of because there are so many swamp monkeys in the swamp. But, I choose Adam Schiff. First, he just looks like a monkey. Second, he just acts like a monkey. Third, he just is a monkey.
Black Widow
Marjorie Taylor Green is definitely the black widow. And, it might not be a bad thing. She can spew some serious poison when she wants to. She makes her web and captures all of the little bugs in the swamp. We need more black widows in congress.
