Two Monkeys on Your Shoulders
When I was an infant, I used to have to take a bath with my older brother. For some reason, he always got to sit in the front. In defiance, I would put my feet on his shoulders and say “Two monkeys on your shoulders. Corn chips!” I always thought feet smelled like corn chips. I know. You think I’m really weird. Well, I am really weird. Let’s look at some pairs of monkeys that we might find on our shoulders.
Sandy Cortez and Ilhan Omar
These are definitely some corn chips. Now, they pretended to get arrested and handcuffed. ABC news fell for it hook, line and sinker. What a riot? If only these two monkeys could pretend to be representatives as good as they pretend to be arrested protesters. These two love the perks and the attention, but they do absolutely no work. Shame on their states for voting them into congress. They act like children.
Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger
I’m sorry that I write so much about Liz Cheney. But, I don’t think there has been a more famous traitor since Benedict Arnold. These two monkeys don’t hear enough evil or see a lot of evil, but they speak a lot of evil. Please name me two people not named Soros, Schwab, Gates or Fauci that are more hated than these two.
Kinzinger is quitting and Cheney is down at least 25 points in the Wyoming primary. So, they decided to go scorched Earth on their way out. But, this will stay with you forever and history will remember. Corn chips to both of you.
Joe Biden and Kamala Harris
Can these two monkeys PLEASE learn to talk. Baby talk, baby talk. It’s a wonder you can walk. How is it possible to have our two most high profile people not be able to speak in public? He can’t say words and she says the same words over and over. Then, he yells at us and she laughs at us. He didn’t really win the election and she never should have been an illegitimate vice president. I’m ashamed of these two corn chips.
Cameron Heyward and TJ Watt
These two monkeys are amazing. Heyward is a defensive lineman for the Pittsburgh Steelers and Watt is an edge rusher. I think both of these guys are on the way to the Hall of Fame, assuming they don’t get a serious injury. No corn chips here. They smell good. These two monkeys alone make being a Steelers fan a pleasure. We are so blessed!
Sean Hannity and Greg Kelly
Two monkeys who went to the dark side. Remember when Hannity was beloved. And, remember when Greg Kelly became the loved alternative after Fox called Arizona at 5am on election day. Then, Hannity decided he wants nuclear war with Russia and Kelly decided that the Cuomo sexual assault accusers were liars. And, now I watch Tucker Carlson and Steve Bannon’s War Room. Nothing would surprise me, but I think I’m safe with these two.
