Top Ten Trump Requests
Now that President Trump is starting his third term, I would like to submit my top ten Trump requests. These are the things that the Democrats took away from me and should be rightfully returned to me.
Light Bulbs
Can I please get good, old fashioned incandescent bulbs? I’m tired of waiting 30 seconds for these new bulbs to light up. And, I’m tired of working in the dark. It’s time to go back in our time machine. I really don’t think these old incandescent bulbs are destroying the environment.
Gas Stove
Can I please get my gas stove back? I don’t know why they took it to begin with. I don’t think the tiny amount of gas residue is killing the environment. And, I like cooking with a gas flame, so I just want to go back to normal.
Parking Spaces
Can you please get rid of the overabundance of outside pickup parking spaces at stores? The ones that were created during coronavirus. While you’re at it, can you please outlaw the impersonal and fearful plexiglass at cashier registers?
Retirement
Can you please restore my 401-K and 403-B retirement accounts to some level of respectability? At this point, I have lost more money than I have deposited. I have no idea why anyone in this country voted for Kamala Harris. They must not care about their money as much as I do. It blows me away.
Olympics
Since some demon(s) decided to ruin the summer Olympic games in France by ridiculing Jesus and the Catholic church, can you please make sure that the upcoming Olympics in the United States are about the athletes? That way we can watch them in the spirit of competition and focus on the people that spend years getting ready to compete. Keep the demons away.
Mochi
I really like Mochi ice cream treats. But, I haven’t been able to afford them in over four years. Unless, I get good coupons. The price went up one dollar per box and the size of the treats has decreased by at least 25%.
Candy
I’m all for Robert Kennedy Jr. to make me healthy again. But, I couldn’t even participate in Trick or Treat this year. I would have spent at least one hundred dollars on candy. That is beyond out of control.
Heat
All I’m asking for is one degree. Help get energy prices down so I can set my thermostat just one degree higher. That degree makes a mountain of difference, but results in a disproportionate cost. As Americans, we should be healthy and warm.
Entertainment
Can you please bring us back to the days when comedians were funny, entertainers entertained and news was actually news? The entertainment industry is ruined. It’s time to clean out all of the garbage and start again. They don’t entertain anymore because they are all completely ignorant.
Peace
Certainly peace in the world. But, also peace for me after four years of chaos. Biden was always pushing buttons. And, he was always causing catastrophes in the country. I don’t feel like we ever had a time to just be peaceful. He even ruined our family holidays. He stuck a dividing rod between family members and encouraged strife. It was four years of pure hell.
