Top Ten Reasons Tomlin Won’t Leave
The Steelers just finished up another season with a loss to the Buffalo Bills in the first round of the playoffs. That marks seven straight seasons of not making the playoffs or losing in the first round of the playoffs. And, it marks the 13th straight season since their last Super Bowl appearance. Coach Mike Tomlin says he is coming back for his 18th year in 2024. Here are the top ten reasons Tomlin won’t leave.
Harbaugh
It allows coach John Harbaugh of the Baltimore Ravens to continue his streak of 13 straight seasons out-coaching Tomlin. And, it will allow the Ravens to celebrate 17 straight seasons of better personnel and coaching decisions than the Steelers.
Biden
If there is one thing Tomlin has learned from his buddy Joe Biden, it is that taking away hope is the best way to deflate people.
Quarterbacks
Now Tomlin can relegate quarterback Mason Rudolph back to street clothes and get his favorite quarterback, Kenny Pickett, back as the starter. That will ensure another mediocre season so the fans have no hope. And, Tomlin can justify drafting Pickett and signing free agent Mitch Trubisky.
Pickens
When wide receiver George Pickens had some immature moments this past season, Tomlin said he was helping him to grow as a man. Now, Tomlin has a full offseason to teach Pickens how to pout better and throw his helmet. Also, to draw stupid penalties when an opponent does a good job covering him and quit on the team when he doesn’t get the ball.
Coordinators
Even though Mason Rudolph was the spark in the last four games, Tomlin will see it as the success of co-coordinators Mike Sullivan and Eddie Faulkner. Instead of hiring a qualified offensive coordinator, Tomlin will keep them in their positions. And, the fans can spend another season of despair without an offensive coordinator who has proven success at the NFL level.
Players Coach
Tomlin can continue to be a “players coach.” That means that the players can do whatever they want with no discipline or accountability. It also means the players can be lazy and take plays off. If you are a Tomlin favorite, you will get the majority of the playing time. In other words, if you are Jaylen Warren and deserve to start, you will sit behind Najee Harris because Harris is a favorite. Likewise, if you are Mason Rudolph and deserve to start, you will sit “far” behind Kenny Pickett because Pickett is a favorite.
Rookies
Tomlin will get another opportunity to select good players in the draft and sit them for the first six weeks of the upcoming season. As fans, we’ll have hope coming out of the draft, and he’ll squash it for his dumb rule of sitting good players. Amazingly, Tomlin’s stupid rule applies to players they trade up to get.
Free Agency
As usual, Tomlin and General Manager Omar Khan will sign second tier free agents instead of difference-makers. That will give them the opportunity to keep the team mediocre and destroy the franchise for years to come.
Offense
In this day and age of having a good offense, Tomlin will continue his “formula” for winning through defense. Rather than scoring 30 points and winning, Tomlin has more fun squeaking a game out by a score of 10-7 just to “get out of the stadium” with a win.
Preparedness
In year 18 of the Tomlin tenure, the players can continue to come into a game unprepared and then play three quarters asleep. Then they can try to win the game in the fourth quarter. It’s much more fun to have no idea what your opponent will do coming into a game, and then make adjustments after you see what they’re doing in the game.
