Top Ten Joe Biden Lies
Joe Biden has a terrible problem with telling lies. It seems like he tells a new lie every day. And, some of them are whoppers. Here are the top ten Joe Biden lies.
Beatles
Biden claims that the Beatles inspiration for the song “Hey Jude” is a song Doctor Jill wrote for him titled “Hey Joe.” Biden even said that he was invited to the studio to sing background vocals on the recording. Unfortunately, Biden was unable to participate because he was playing lead guitar with Led Zeppelin that day.
Internet
When Al Gore invented the Internet, Biden claims he was the mastermind behind all of the technical details. And, he said that he single-handedly installed the cable in the ocean to connect America with Europe and Asia. Biden brags that he can hold his breath under water for one hour.
World War II
Although a baby, Biden says that the American generals followed a star to find him and get advice to defeat the enemy forces. He went on to say that he was the youngest member on Normandy beach on D-Day.
Olympics
Biden claims that he is quite the athlete. In fact, he said he was invited to join the Olympic team as a sprinter in the most recent summer Olympics. Being the fastest man alive has been tough on Biden. He knows that he has a gift, but he also knows he can deadlift 1,000 pounds. It’s just too hard to decide where he fits on the team.
Nobel Peace Prize
Biden claims he has won over ten Nobel Peace Prizes. Unfortunately, they never publicized his wins because they didn’t want to embarrass the other nominees. One of his prizes was for the peaceful withdrawal from Afghanistan. And, another was for his steadfast support of Ukraine. Yet another was for taking vacations and staying refreshed to tackle the tough issues.
Grizzly
On a friendly hunting expedition with former Vice-President Dick Cheney, Biden came across a grizzly bear in the forest. He immediately threw his slingshot on the ground and headed toward the bear. Cheney yelled “I’ll shoot it.” But, Biden said he has got this. Biden hugged the bear and savagely punched the bear. He flipped the bear over his head and jumped on top of it to gouge it’s eyes. When he stood up to kick the bear, the bear ran away crying.
4.0
Biden brags that he got a 4.0 grade average throughout his schooling. He proudly presents his record showing that it’s true. When he is presented with an actual transcript showing he did not get a 4.0, he is quick to show where the ink got smudged. Biden claims that every paper he wrote for school going back to the sixth grade was published.
Hot Dog
We all know Biden is a wiener, but did you know he holds the world record for eating hot dogs? Biden claims he can eat 50 hot dogs in a minute. He says that he can do this for at least an hour. He just needs to loosen his trousers after a half hour. Of note, he also holds the world record for eating ice cream cones.
Empire State Building
Biden often brags about the time he leapt over the Empire State Building. With one leaping bound, he scaled the top of the building and landed on the other side. He didn’t use spring shoes and he didn’t have wings. It was just one man conquering the impossible. If he could only go upstairs without falling.
Fishing
Biden claims that he caught a whale on a fishing trip. He reeled it in as far as he could. But, he had to jump in the water to bring it home. He climbed atop the whale and slung some rope around it’s face. Then, he rode it like it was a bucking horse using his self-made reins. After the whale got tired out, Biden slung it over his shoulder and took it back on the boat.
