Ten Things On My Christmas List

We’re inching toward another Christmas holiday and I’m excited. It’s always good to enjoy family. It’s nice to give presents. But, let’s be honest, it’s nice to get presents also. Here are ten things on my Christmas list this year.

Steelers

Dear God! Can they please lose one more game so we can finally put the “Tomlin’s never had a losing season” mantra to bed? Since new quarterback, Kenny Pickett is suffering from a second concussion, please lose out the rest of the season so we can draft a top tier offensive lineman to protect the guy. I’m being super selfish here, but can offensive coordinator Matt Canada be hired into the same job in Cincinnati after the season.

Kari

Please let Kari Lake win her lawsuit to redo the midterm election in Arizona. Voting machines malfunctioned and people were turned away. Unbelievably, her opponent, Katie Hobbs, oversaw the election as Secretary of State. How in the world is that allowed?

Trump/McConnell

I would absolutely love to see President Trump and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell pitted against each other in a Texas Death Match. We all know Trump would obliterate him. Of course, McConnell would refuse because he is too busy kissing Biden’s lower rear extremity.

Satan

I want Satan to be in a rage this Christmas as we celebrate the birth of Jesus. And, I pray for the conversion of satanic Democrats, teachers and healthcare workers. And, let’s not forget the satanic globalists like George Soros, Klaus Schwab and Bill Gates. I don’t pray for their conversion. I pray that Satan gives them a seat at his table in hell.

Lola

I recently wrote a post about the song “Lola.” You know, “boys will be girls and girls will be boys.” I want every person who supports the butchering of our children’s sexual parts to get the exact same treatment. Funny though that those people who support this don’t do it to themselves.

Fauci

I want Dr. Fauci to be locked in a room with the “Chinese bat woman.” And, I want the bat woman to unleash a serious “gain of function” coronavirus. I won’t say I want him dead. But, I want him to be sick over and over. I’ll even grant him ten masks and a vaccine. And, he can have plenty of room to stay six feet away from his bat woman friend.

Vaccine

This one is serious. I want people to stop dying from the coronavirus vaccine. We are losing too many people. The heart issues and the blood clots are terrifying. I predicted this would happen long ago. It needs to stop.

Congressional Leaders

I want the people to vote for Congressional leaders. So, republican voters should vote for Speaker of the House and Senate minority leader. It shouldn’t be the ridiculous political process that it is. This is why we keep getting the same old “Paul Ryan” garbage in a leadership position.

White Christmas

I want to have a white Christmas this year. And, I want to enjoy watching the movie “White Christmas” for the 50th time in my life. Here’s to marching around to the songs too!

Cousin Eddie

I want cousin Eddie in “Christmas Vacation” to finally get the management position he is holding out for. And, I want him to stay away from microwave ovens so he doesn’t wet himself as a result of the steel plate in his head. And, I want everybody in America to get a “Jelly of the month club” membership this season.