Ten Things Kamala Thinks
It was extremely difficult to find ten things Kamala thinks, but I found some. It amazes me that she is anywhere close to the presidency, but that is the new America.
Math
Kamala thinks that you don’t need to know your multiplication tables to become vice president. It’s just a racist skill anyway. Two times two equals four when you are a white supremacist. The result is the same if you are not a white supremacist. But, everybody not named Kamala is a racist.
Pick
Kamala thinks Joe Biden picked her as vice president because she was the most qualified candidate. First, we know Biden didn’t even pick her. Second, the only thing Kamala is qualified for is nothing. Third, have you ever heard her speak? Children in first grade make more sense.
Border
Kamala thinks that border is the plural of bored. For example, “I’m border when Joe talks than I usually am.” Or, “I couldn’t listen to the speech because I was border than usual.” How about “The border is being overrun by illegal aliens.” Of course, she cackles because she think that’s improper use of the word.
Race and Gender
Kamala thinks everyone doesn’t like her because she is the first woman and African American vice president. To be honest, that has nothing to do with it. It’s more that you slept your way to where you are. And, you are not a nice person. And, there isn’t one single thing that is likeable about you.
Stork
Kamala thinks that babies are delivered to moms by a stork. She says that she remembers when she was delivered by the stork. According to Kamala, “That stork flew so fast to deliver me. But, I don’t remember where he got me. Can you believe that a stork can do that? They are so fast.”
Forrest Gump
Kamala thinks that Forrest Gump is the best movie ever made. She says that it’s such an honor to have a movie about her life. And, she applauds the person in charge of casting for putting a white male in her role. Per Kamala, “That’s a win for every African American woman in America.”
Lion
Kamala thinks that lion is a word used when someone is not telling the truth or laying down. For example, “He was lion when he said that I’m a good vice president.” Or, “I’m just lion here thinking about what it would be like to go to space.”
Declaration of Independence
Kamala thinks the Declaration of Independence was something a slave said after the Civil War. In her own words, “John made a declaration to the crowd that he is independent. And then, he declared that the American people will pay him reparations in about 140 years for the crimes they committed.”
President
Kamala thinks she will be president one day. But, there is a greater chance of a mouse eating an elephant. Unless she cheats. If you think the country is in bad shape now, let’s try four years of the cackling clown queen.
Thinks?
Kamala thinks she thinks. But, there is nothing but air between her ears. If she had to microwave a Hot Pocket using the instructions on the box, she would never be able to figure it out. Just imagine her trying to find her way somewhere using a map. That’s right. She would never get there.
