The world is very strange right now. But, it makes me laugh. Here are ten strange things from our upside down world.
Car Danger
On my commute to work, I saw no less than five people wearing masks in their car. They were alone and the windows were not down. I wonder how those pesky coronavirus germs get into a car. Maybe through the vent, but you can close that too. I don’t know. But, I feel bad for people like that. Coronavirus amplifies neuroses, anxiety and hypochondria.
Drinking Problem
I’ll never in my lifetime understand how coronavirus germs know to stay away from masked people while they are eating or drinking. I searched the CDC website, but couldn’t find guidance on how to eat and drink with a mask on. I’ve seen a few things. Some people simply remove their mask once they get situated at the table. Then, they put the mask back on when they are done eating and drinking. And some people pull their mask down, take a drink, and pull their mask back up after the drink. Both of these ways don’t seem right to me. Taking it off defeats the purpose and pulling it up and down goes against the guidance of not touching your mask.
There is a ton of “disinformation” on social media on this topic, all by people with no scientific background. Of course, that information can remain over information from doctors.
Mask Guidance
I came across this gem while I was trying to find eating and drinking mask guidance on the CDC website. This shows how not to wear a mask.
I think they left a few out. You shouldn’t wear it as a hat. And you shouldn’t use it as a tissue. You shouldn’t use it as a hair tie. And you shouldn’t wear it over your eyes, especially when driving, because that could cause other problems worse than coronavirus. You shouldn’t use it as a band-aid. The reason for that is obvious.
Harmful Content
The National Archives added a “harmful content” warning on the Constitution, Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights and our other founding documents. The rationale is that these documents may reflect outdated, biased, offensive, and possibly violent views and opinions. This is downright silly. But National Public Radio (NPR), which we fund through our taxpayer dollars, chose the song “Wet Ass Pussy” by Cardi B as the best song of 2020AMP. Where is Tipper Gore when we need her? Oh, she’s saving the environment with her oddball husband now.
Coronavirus Hugs
I went to the office for the first time since lockdowns began. I saw people I haven’t seen in over a year. Of course, there’s that inclination to hug each other. But, have you noticed that hugging has become a tribal dance. First, there is hesitancy. Then, there is the awkward reach. And then, a total butt hug. That’s when you hug someone with your butt sticking out as if the coronavirus germs don’t come around your head and upper torso, but can wreak havoc on your butt and lower extremities.
Robin is AC/DC
In a previous satirical post titled “Woke BatmanAMP,” I said that Robin was having trouble with his gender identity. DC Comics must have read my post, because now Robin is bisexual. I personally think they picked him because of his name. Robin can be male or female. Or, I guess both. I don’t see Bane as bisexual. But, the Riddler could say something like “I like Robin and I like Robin. What am I?” And, the Joker absolutely cannot make a joke about Robin’s sexuality, or he will be cancelled immediately. Next, they’ll have Robin trying on Batgirl’s outfit.
Down Under
Almost every day, I see another disturbing video of the tyranny in Australia. Today, it was a woman protesting with her toddler son at her side. The police arrest the woman as her son cries. I thought Australia was the happy place down under. As “Men at Work” say in their song “Down Under,” it’s where women glow and men plunder. I guess you have to listen to the next two lines of the chorus. “Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover.” Men at Work must have known what was coming.
A New Friend
Not long ago, the Taliban in Afghanistan was our sworn enemy. They were considered a terrorist group. Now, we have stripped them of that awful terrorist group tag, and we are recognizing them as the government of Afghanistan. Maybe we can make Afghanistan our 51st state. Or, maybe that’s what the Biden team is trying to do so they can win every election. Alright, that’s way too conspiracy theory. Maybe Biden just needs a new friend since his approval rating is tanking. Kamala can tell us the story when she gets back. If she ever gets back. Where is she?
Not Total Recall
Predictably, the idiots in California didn’t recall Governor Gavin Newsom. Instead, they would like to have endless lockdowns, poop on their sidewalks and homeless tents along their roads. I’ll bet you the homeless people didn’t get to vote. If they did, the recall would have been successful in a landslide. The Democratic party of “Black Lives Matter” decided that Larry Elder’s black life didn’t matter. The Los Angeles Times declaredAMP that Elder is the “black face of white supremacy.” And, a crazy white woman wearing a monkey mask assaulted Elder with eggs. I can’t make this stuff up. Of course, there was dead silence from the Democrats and the mainstream media about this incident.
So, it’s not a racial hate crime when a black man is assaulted by a white woman, but it is a racial hate crime when a white police officer pulls over a black man for speeding. Go figure.
Rose and Nikki
Rose McGowan and Nikki Minaj make strange bedfellows. But, McGowan helped Larry Elder in the California Governor recall election and Minaj recently stood up against the coronavirus vaccine. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, because at their core, they are still leftist celebrities. But, I applaud them for breaking out of the brainwashing and being brave enough to have their own thoughts and ideas. We need more of this from liberals. Unfortunately, we already have conservatives like Lindsey Graham and George W. Bush propping up the left, so we don’t need more of this from the right.
Categories:Humor
Tags:afghanistanaustraliaBatmanBidenbill of rightsBlack Lives Mattercaliforniacardi bconstitutioncoronavirusdeclaration of independencedown undergavin newsomkamalalarry eldermaskmen at worknational public radionikki minajrose mcgowantalibanvaccine
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