Notifications I Would Like To See

The other day, I got a notification on my phone that my garage door was opened. Of course, I opened it. But, I never got a notification before. So, I searched around on my phone and turned off the notification. My question is how the app turned on it’s notifications when I never did. Anyway, here are some notifications I would like to see on my phone.

Gaffes and Lies

I would like to get a notification every time Biden does a gaffe or lies. So, when he says something stupid like “End of quote,” I get an immediate video notification to laugh at. And, when he says that the inflation is only going up a smidge, I’ll get a video notification to laugh at. The only drawback here is that I’ll get a notification about every five minutes.

MAGA

I would like to get a notification every time President Trump is right about something. Like when he told Germany that they would suffer energy issues and they laughed at him. Of course, I’ll get a notification every five minutes. And, I’ll love it!

Steelers

I would like to get a notification every time the Steelers score a touchdown and every time they throw the ball more than twenty yards. I won’t have to worry about getting too many notifications for this. Ugh!

Celebrities

I would like to get a notification every time a celebrity goes radical liberal. This is triggered by Ken Burns ridiculous commentsAMP about Governor DeSantis. I just bought a Ken Burns DVD. I sent it back Ken. Do you see the value in these notifications?

Illegal Aliens

I would like to get a notification every time an illegal alien crosses the southern border. On second thought, no I don’t.

MTG

I would like to get a notification every time Marjorie Taylor Greene destroys somebody. If I could also get a video link, that would be ideal. This tiger is someone the left fears. We need more like her. And, she is always right in what she says.

Rally

I would like to get a notification every time President Trump has a rally within 100 miles of my home. As I said before, if you haven’t attended a Trump rally, you absolutely must. There is nothing like it!

FBI

I would like to get a notification any time the FBI is within 20 miles of my house. That way I can reinforce my door before they knock it down. And, I can find documentation that I was nowhere near the Capital on January 6th of any year. Then, I can lock my wife’s closet and underwear drawer.

Ukraine

I would like to get a notification every time my tax dollars are given to Ukraine and it’s shady government. There will probably be a ton of notifications, but I sure want to know why I give them a large chunk of my salary. I wonder if they will ever pay us back. Yeah, right.

Tucker

I would like to get a notification every time Tucker Carlson exposes the hypocrisy of the Democrats. He is a master at it. And, the Democrats hate him for it. But, he is ruthless. And, he and his staff do amazing research. Nothing like exposing a bunch of rats. I’m glad he’s on my side.

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Categories:Politics​Satire​Sports

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