My Top Ten Campaign Promises
Let me begin by saying President Trump is the only president in my lifetime to actually do what he said in his first term. But, Kamala Harris has flipped her position on almost everything she stood for. Don’t believe her. A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots. And, she won’t either. In honor of Kamala’s lies, here are my top ten campaign promises.
World Hunger
That’s right. I will solve world hunger. No person will be hungry anymore. My values haven’t changed. I said this for years, but now I’m going to do it. I know I could have already done it, but I’ll do it on day one.
Work Week
On day one, I’ll institute a one day work week. I’ll make it on Friday since everyone hates Monday. On the other weekdays, I’ll let artificial intelligence do the work. The bonus here is that you will still be paid for a five day work week and get 15 vacation days. Of course, you can carry over unused vacation time. Just do the math and you’ll love me even more.
Pink Slips
On day two (I can’t realistically do everything on day one), I’ll hand out pink slips to every senator and representative and replace them with people that love America and it’s people. If the Democrats can pick a presidential candidate that didn’t get a single vote, then I can pick senators and representatives that didn’t get a single vote. Do you love me yet?
Border
Rather than a wall, I will build a moat and stock it with hungry alligators. Just in case an illegal tries to get smart and use a boat, I’ll have overhead lasers that shoot holes in the boat. I’ll do it on the Canadian border too. We don’t want the woke Canadians either. Of note, Kamala is a Canadian.
Arrests
On day two, I will make a bunch of arrests. First, I’ll arrest Kamala and Joe Biden for the murder of Americans as a result of their border policy. Second, I’ll arrest Dr. Fauci, Dr. Birx, and CDC Director Rochelle Walensky for mass murder. And third, I’ll arrest every Big Tech CEO for interfering in our elections.
Love
On day three, I will sign an executive order that Americans must love one another. I will replace the two political parties with a love party. Elections will be between the top two candidates. Attack ads will disqualify that candidate. There will be no more donations. And, votes will done via paper ballot.
Rest Rooms
On day three, I will sign an executive order mandating that there will be three rest rooms everywhere. A men’s room, a women’s room and a confused room. The confused room will be for everyone who isn’t sure what sex they are. This should please every American. But, the perverts who want to pretend they are women to share their bathroom won’t be very pleased.
Kamala
On day four, I will send Kamala back to third grade so she can question if she is really a woman and read pornographic material. She would make a wonderful man. Or, maybe not.
Voting
On day four, I will mandate that pets can vote. And also plants and trees. Stuffed animals too. In fact, anybody and anything can vote.
RINOs
On day five, I will build a center square in Washington D.C. RINOs will be brought to the center square one by one to be flogged in front of cheering crowds. Mitt Romney will be flogged twice a day.
