My Favorite Preferred Pronouns

I have no idea where the concept of preferred pronouns came to be. I even looked at wikipedia and they don’t say. It’s like they just arrived one day. And, now I see them on LinkedIn. This has got to be one of the dumbest trends of all time. Ninety percent of the men on LinkedIn list “he/him” and ninety percent of women list “she/her.” In honor of the dumbest trend in American history, here are my favorite preferred pronouns.

Chicken/Egg

We finally resolve the age old riddle of “What came first?”. Clearly the chicken comes first. I’m sure the Democrats will call me racist against the egg, but too darn bad. It doesn’t matter which one you like more because you’ll end up a chicken either way.

Biden/Harris

Yes. There are some oddballs out there who would want “Biden/Harris” as their preferred pronouns. They deserve an honorable spot because this nonsense came about during their administration. I even recall Kamala telling a crowd her preferred pronouns. Of course, her preferred pronouns were the quite boring “she/her.”

Duck/Goose

If you ever played “Duck, Duck, Goose,” then you can relate to this set of preferred pronouns. I always felt bad for the duck because it was overlooked while the goose was the prize. I’m sure the Democrats will have my door broken down to arrest me for misgendering ducks, but too darn bad.

Door/Knob

This is an interesting one. This person wants to be a door when singular, but a knob when plural. It sounds silly, but have you seen some of the crazy preferred pronoun concoctions? In fact, I’ll bet this one is in use. It’s insane, but so is this trend.

Putin/Zelensky

Have you ever wanted to be called Putin? Me neither. Have you ever wanted to be called Zelensky? Me neither. Do you like either one of them? Me neither. So, this one is a “negative Nelly.” It’s perfect for those weirdos that enjoy torturing themselves. And, I’ll bet it will get you some interviews from LinkedIn. I hear Lindsey Graham is looking for some war hawks.

Cat/Dog

I know it’s weird to want to be called a cat sometimes and a dog some other times. But, Democrats want to be called “defund the police” sometimes and “fund the police” some other times. The Batman variation on this is “Catwoman/Dogwoman.” Oh boy, I’m going to get in trouble for saying “Dogwoman.” I forgot it doesn’t matter what I say to a woman anymore. Women have ceded all of their rights to men dressing like women.

Republican/Democrat

This combination only works one way. And, these preferred pronouns aren’t funny. They’re true. There are a lot of Republicans who want to be called Democrats sometimes. I’ll call out Mitt Romney, Mitch McConnell and Dan Crenshaw as examples. There’s nothing funny about this one. In fact, it irritates me to my core.

Dumb/Dumber

And, this is the winner because it accurately reflects the nature of this trend. I want to see this option on LinkedIn and every college application. And, I want this to be the only option. That way, these lost souls can tell us exactly who they are and who they wish to be.

Conclusion

Hasn’t the preferred pronoun craze hit it’s fifteen minutes of fame yet? I can only wish. Unfortunately, there are so many people out there who want to be “current.” To me, that is so sad. This is an apolitical trend. And, it’s so unnecessary. It means nothing. And, it offers no value to society.

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