Just Who Are These Reindeer?
It’s that special time of year! Santa is coming soon with gifts for the good girls and boys. Of course, Santa can’t go anywhere without his sleigh. And, his sleigh is powered by those special reindeer. But, just who are these reindeer?
Dasher
Dasher gets his name because he is the fastest reindeer of the whole pack. Joe Biden is the fastest person I know that dashes when he is asked a question he doesn’t like. Unfortunately, many times he has no idea where he’s dashing to.
Dancer
The reindeer with the most flair and elegance, ever since Dancer could walk, all he wanted to do was dance. When I think of flair and elegance, I think of Marsha Blackburn. And, I’m sure she is a good dancer too. But, she is a great senator also, who truly cares about the American people.
Prancer
Every Christmas Eve, Santa Claus has to drag him away from preening himself in the mirror and polishing his horns to go and deliver the presents on time. This is the definition of Eric Swalwell. He tries to keep himself looking good for Fang Fang, his special Chinese spy flame. And, he prances around the capitol looking for other foreign spies. It doesn’t matter if it’s a man or woman.
Vixen
Vixen is known as a notorious flirt and will flutter her long eyelashes at anyone to get her way. This sounds a lot like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Although she isn’t very attractive, she thinks she is. And, she tries to use her fake attractiveness to win voters and manipulate people.
Comet
Comet is the strongest of all the reindeer and is known for being a stubborn but loyal member of the team. This sounds a lot like Matt Gaetz. He is the definition of stubborn. But, he is also loyal to the Republican party and the American people.
Cupid
Cupid is the most romantic and passionate of all the reindeer. This sounds like Mitch McConnell. He is enamored with himself. He can be quite romantic toward himself when he knows he just screwed the American people. And, he is quite passionate about screwing the American people.
Donner
Sometimes known as Donder and Dunder, Donner’s name means “thunder” and she is not a reindeer to be messed with! Marjorie Taylor Green (MTG) fits this perfectly. The Democrats have met their match with MTG. She can bring it.
Blitzen
Blitzen is the bravest member of the team, never one to back down or give up in the face of adversity. Guess who this might be. President Trump is the bravest person I know and he handles adversity with grace and poise. He is a definite Blitzen!
Rudolph
Rudolph is the most famous of all the reindeer. He leads the sleigh with a bright red nose. I choose Tucker Carlson for this honor. Carlson definitely leads the conservative movement with vigor. He might not have a bright red nose, but he has a nose for breaking stories that are factual and hard-hitting.
