If I Had To Be A Democrat

The Democrats are so screwed up right now. They forced their 2024 candidate to resign his candidacy for president. Then they “picked” Kamala as their new candidate. Kamala is acting like the president. Biden is basically hidden and working on stupid initiatives like Supreme Court reform. All of the good ole’ Democrats are supporting Kamala. But, the majority of the country is not. And, Jill Biden is throwing darts at pictures of the Obamas in her room. If I had to be a Democrat. Well, let’s see.

Lips

If I had to be a Democrat, I would pull my lower lip over my head and glue it to the back of my neck.

Nails

If I had to be a Democrat, I would pull my fingernails and toenails out one by one using only my hands.

Butter Knife

If I had to be a Democrat, I would perform an appendectomy on myself with a butter knife. And, I wouldn’t use any anesthesia either.

Head

If I had to be a Democrat, I would smash my head on a concrete wall until I knock myself out or bleed to death. With every head slam to the wall, I will say “I love being a Democrat.”

Dumb

If I had to be a Democrat, I would be dumb. So, I would likely lose my job. And, I would go and do dumb things like supporting Kamala, believing that Biden is mentally fit for office, and believing that the Obama’s support Kamala.

Hands

If I had to be a Democrat, I would cut off my hands and eat dinner with two nubs.

Tongue

If I had to be a Democrat, I would cut out my tongue. That way, I won’t say anything stupid like Robert De Niro and Whoopi Goldberg. I would never want to be that kind of Democrat.

Blowtorch

If I had to be a Democrat, I would blowtorch my face so I can be as ugly as my democrat friends.

Nasty

If I had to be a Democrat, I would be nasty to everyone who doesn’t agree with me. And, I would yell in their faces at the top of my lungs. I would call them names and curse at them. If the other person tied to make a point, I would cut them off and scream at them again.

Kamala

If I had to be a Democrat, I would worship the ground Kamala walked on. I would forget that she has done nothing for almost four years. And, I would forget how she became the candidate with zero votes by the people. I would just be glad that they picked her for me.